Swelters cooking tips No. 1
Make sure your turkey is at kitchen temperature and totally dry. Make sure the oven is pre-heated to at least 200 degrees.
Have at hand a large roasting tray with a wire rack sitting in it. Chop 1 onion, 1 carrot, 1 stick of celery, 2 cloves of garlic very coarsely. If you are lucky enough to have giblets with your turkey, chop them into small pieces and place those, along with the chopped vegetables, along with a good sprig of thyme underneath the rack. Pour in 1 bottle of good red wine (if you can't drink it, don't cook with it) and a half a pint of water. Next, cut a lemon in half and an onion in half and stuff these, along with a quarter of a pound of butter, into the turkey. Next, rub the turkey well with lemon juice and cover it all over with copious amounts of butter.
Place the turkey breast down on the rack, cover the bird with tin foil and set to roast for 1 hour. After 1 hour take the tray from the oven, reverse the turkey onto its back and continue cooking until the bird is done. 20 minutes before the bird is cooked, remove the foil so the skin can brown. Remove the turkey and keep warm, strain the liquid from the pan through a sieve. Whisk in a tablespoon of chicken gravy granuals to thicken the sauce, season with salt and pepper and whisk in a nice knob of softened butter to create a rich, shiney, delicious cheats gravy.
I was talking to Mr. Floyd the other day about turkeys and I know for a fact he will not be having one for Christmas, he always has a goose. He has also asked me to point out that a turkey is for Christmas, not for life, and he will not be asking me to give me to give you tips on how to use the leftovers, these should be given to your pets, off the bone, of course, and bin the rest.
Mr. Floyd takes no responsibility for the wrath you may incur from your local council for dumping your carcass in your re-cycling bin!